Finding #1: A saved facebook message to you.

July 17th. Letting go a little. 

“Reminds me of you, oh so much. too much. There are a lot of times where I feel like I hold you back, because there is a large portion of your heart that truly belongs to the world. Not everyone has that, and it’s such a shame to see it diminish. Just because you learned to bottle the past and cold memories, doesn’t mean you cannot bottle its opposites. I hope your skills grow and move onto bigger and better things, do not just take the time to capture the darkness- as tempting as it is to preserve such an intense moment of mystery. Learn to embrace the warmth of the light. Put time in it, and maybe you’ll see how much more valuable those times are. Those are the ones worth being preserved, shared, and remembered. Poe is the only one, and will forever be the king of melancholy, why must you challenge his crown? Invest in the present, the people who NEED YOU NOW, and the amazing moments and possibilities held right in front of you. I cut your anchor, you are hopefully free to fully sail forward. The ocean awaits, you still have so much to see. I hope your heart can understand that.”

And these records are evidence of a fleeting heart and a fluttering mind to match. And where and when the dust settled, am I just back at square one?

The end.

for the umpteenth time this week. Blame the red moon? Sure, but the monotony monster seems to be creeping up on our dearest friends as well. We must break free of its grasp. Must plan epically. Must plan ASAP, with the beginning of the end in mind. There is no time for regret.

It hurts. I miss having my soul connect with someone else.

the charm. the potential. the laughter. the smile. the care and kindness. all skills yet to be fully embraced by warm hands, soft touch and matching voices. I hope hearts are matched soon, and are fully appreciated for the long run. Such raw materials are a rarity for the modern day, and at least in my eyes, they are all jewels waiting to be unearthed. 

The Silence, often deafening yet sometimes comforting.

It’s been a while, since I have had time to myself to ponder my life thus far.

Hard to do for someone with such an attention span as I, who feels as if I am living each day anew more and more.

There are times where thoughts and actions move so smoothly that one feels the strings of Life tugging. Its the strange yet familiar feeling of fate, the quaint feeling of coincidence controlled. 

Do we see what we want to see? or what we need to see?

Sometimes its both, and always its the right time for the person, whether they realize, disagree or not. 

I fell upon one of the many writings that you dedicated to me once upon a honeyed moon. The words now float upon the dusty wasteland of the world wide internet space. And it occurred to me, how much you’ve changed- with me, because of me, and vice versa. Perhaps there are times when your creative juices are under a dry spell, as all artistic souls experience from time to time, but perhaps its something more. Perhaps with this growing freedom and adult lifestyle comes real and secured time management, mentally and physically. It is sad that ‘work’ has such a bad connotation to it, but in truth such a word is also tied in with strength, determination, and confidence. As I’ve always said, it’s all perspective. 

And yet, I also wonder if its a good or bad thing? Am I holding you back? Yes, that is definite, for love holds all humans back. Love is a power relentless. All things that matter, that are loved, hold a person back because that person cares and therefore risks a loss. I just hope it’s always worth it, always for the better.

Perhaps your time will come again, and hopefully it will be for the sun and not the storm. This wish also falls unto myself, I wish to escape the gray waters and see the blue in this sea.